I'm finding online blogging to be a pain in the ass, so I've decided to give it one last try. And here you are, the final embrace of this online community, where my thoughts will be drawn out onto your silly ass version of a paper journal.
Life is a little fucked up right now, as it always has been. Through my freshman year at Pitt, I've gone through so many ups and downs that I just wanted to give up and escape. Escape from the mad world of classes, people, homework, work, drama, love, sex, clubs, everything. I felt like finally crawling up beside my mother and crying as I haven't done in so long. It was a hellish semester, yet it was well deserved for the first one. And it's almost over.
4 months of my life has been spent in this new surrounding area for myself. Pittsburgh, the dearest, most livable city, has become my new home--the homeless people on the street have become my friends; the port authority buses traveling all over the place have become my free pass out of Oakland, and the overdone, all-you-can-eat market central has become my excuse for gaining thirty pounds during the semester. I have met so many interesting people that I hope to continue to see on a day to day basis. I have also met a lot that I try to avoid as I walk down the sidewalk..but anyway, lol.
I already see several mistakes that I have made this semester. My attempt at a Communications Major had me pursue in Mass Communications, and now I already have my first withdrawal on my transcript. A hell of a night with tequila, which I doubt I'll ever wish to explain on here along with experiencing tequila ever again, led me to a missing purse with credit cards, a phone, and a camera. It is also gave me my first experience with alcohol-induced vomit. And my continuous lack of motivation has left me cringing on the thought of my report card.
Nonetheless, mistakes are mistakes. And people certainly aren't any more perfect than they were in Muncy, PA. Yet there's a certain feel to the city--a certain je ne sais quoi?--that leaves me begging to see more. I recently had really discovered my true despise for the city, the roots of my depression throughout the semester. Upon this discovery, I wished to flee, flee to the only person in the world that I wanted to flee to. If that meant transferring, I was ready to leave the city. My only comfort, my other half, my soul mate was six hours away, yet he was having the time of his life. And now I know that I cannot interrupt that. I don't want to interrupt that.
So I gave up on my idea of transferring, realizing that Pittsburgh really isn't so bad and I should be excited to leave the dorms the following term. And even though I'll be disappointing some people with this decision, I know others are here that are happy about my final decision. Yes, I've decided to give Pitt another chance. :]
Now with finals week approaching, the semester coming to a close, and people being crankier than ever, I find myself wondering what my mistakes and experiences have taught me for the upcoming semester. I'm so excited about my classes next semester, and I am now the new Political Action Chair for Rainbow Alliance, an organization I've been falling in love with over the semester. I'm super excited to push myself to the upmost potential that will help me succeed in the organization, in my classes, and in everything else around me. What the fuck, it's my freshman year. IT BETTER BE FUCKING GOOD!
love always,
Tearsa
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